Friday 28 December 2012

Understanding Father’s Love


by Meg


I was born in the Northern part of the Philippines, in a small rural area where most of my mother’s relatives where living in the same compound. Life then was so simple and according to my mother, when I came to the family, our life was blessed. We had a small nipa hut that was designed by my father and some sort of livestock such as chickens and pigs. We had plenty sacks of grains/rice too, since my mother was a farmer while my father was a security guard. However, when I turned three years old my father was assigned to post in Pasig (an hour from Manila) and since he was away from us my mother decided to settle and join with my father primarily because we missed him a lot especially me.

I grew up in an urban place where industrialization and commercialization took place. Nevertheless, the value of the traditional type Filipino culture was still there because it’s my father’s responsibility to inculcate it to our own lifestyle. Basically, that’s the way he was raised by my grandma. He was so strict. A very disciplinarian person, and guess what? It was not a rod if he disciplined us; it’s a leather type two-inch belt. It was so painful and so to speak never to say anything when he’s punishing us. It’s a must. No wonder why the fear of violating household rule was within me, that’s why doing the right thing was only the best thing.

Among the four, he was much overprotected on me. I was the apple of his eyes during my teenage years. One of his famous lines was ‘if you are not obeying my rules, our door is widely open.’ Despite of that, my fear was enveloped with love and respect. I had many chances of disobeying him if I wanted to especially when I was in college, I can be as rude just like anyone else but it was my choice to still honor and follow him. One deciding factor and reason that made me obey my father was the fear of God, when we had the fear of God, we came to understand more of everything. The Bible studies I learned from Sunday school opened up my mind to know more about life, family issues and concerns. It’s the Holy Spirit that guided and whispered to my inner being on what to do rationally without any hesitation and reservation. It upholds my heart to be more right and just to do the good thing. I was blessed because God was there to lead me and come to the Father through Jesus Christ. It was my initiative also to seek God during that time by reading the Bible in my own personal way.  By all means, the fruit of the Holy Spirit was very powerful and everyone can be controlled by it if we allowed it to.

My point of view I want to share is --- different fathers might have different styles in terms of disciplining a child. And to think of the way my father disciplined us, I better say now that I understand him more because, he didn’t have much information way back then about on how to discipline a child the proper way; he was just relied on how he was raised by his mother and father. Nevertheless, I believe that a father will always be a good father making sure that his kids will have the best life better than him. And as their children, we are also responsible in accepting that fact. We might not be able to know it earlier nor even understand it better but to learn how they feel and to fit on their shoes will be much easier for us to recognize them not only as their father but a good friend as well.

In the same way, kids may vary with different personalities that make them unique. And as parents they loved their children for the reason that they were made because of love --- and by love which obviously a reason why every kid is a very special one no matter who they are. In my case, I just allowed God to control me, not my parents. They were just an instrument sent by God so that I can be the person I am right now. Likewise, I initiated to seek God 15 years ago. It was a personal choice and no one dictated me to do it. No one forced me to read the Bible and know God even more. The freedom I enjoyed most from my parents was my personality I came to develop and appreciate more.

Finally, I want to encourage every child to love our fathers. Some are blessed to have their own until now and others do not have since they were born. Some are longing to have one and others still seeking. And for those fortunate kids, let us be reminded that fathers are blessings from God. Let us not allow bitterness or even hatred to penetrate deep within if just in case they have done something wrong but rather let forgiveness and love dwell in our hearts and let these two virtues be accessible always. As my mother always says, ‘our days are almost gone and we are counting our years’ and as a child or any kid, these are the best days we have to show our love and appreciation to them for their being great and loving. And for all the fathers, you have done all your very best and I salute you for that!  =)

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