How Gentleness Calms Conflict

CURRENT TEACHING SERIES The Keys to a Blessed Life

How Gentleness Calms Conflict By Rick Warren — Oct 19, 2015 “A gentle answer turns away wrath, but a harsh word stirs up anger.” (Proverbs 15:1 NIV) Have you noticed that human beings have a tendency to mimic the emotions of people across from us? The reason we do this is because of mirror neurons in your brain. They allow you to sympathize and also to mirror what other people feel. For instance, if somebody gets angry with you, you get angry back. If somebody is really depressed and you hang around that person long enough, you get depressed. In the same way, when people raise their voice against you, you usually raise your voice back. Then they raise their voice higher. Then you raise your voice higher. Then pretty soon it’s escalated, and your emotions are out of control. The Bible says, “A gentle answer turns away wrath, but a harsh word stirs up anger” (Proverbs 15:1 NIV). Let me give you a little tip that will save you a lot of heartache and conflict in your life: When other people raise their voice, lower yours — in your marriage, in your parenting, in your friendships, and at work. That’s called strength under control. Gentleness defuses conflict. It deescalates anger. Here’s a good verse you’re going to need someday — maybe even this week. Ecclesiastes 10:4 says, “If your boss is angry at you, don’t quit! A quiet spirit can overcome even great mistakes” (NLT, second edition). When your boss rips into you or your spouse raises his voice in anger, you need to realize it may not have anything to do with you. Instead of getting defensive, practice gentleness. Let your gentle answer disarm the other person and diffuse the situation. PLAY today’s audio teaching from Pastor Rick >> Talk It Over What is your normal reaction to raised voices, such as when your kids are misbehaving or there is a disagreement with your spouse or partner? Why do you think responding in gentleness rather than anger is so disarming? Why does it get people’s attention? Look for ways to practice gentleness this week. How do people react when you respond to them with gentleness? You may even want to record your efforts and their effect and share it with your small group. Today’s Scripture “How good and pleasant it is for brethren to dwell together in unity...for there the Lord has commanded the blessing...” (Psalm 133:1–3, KJV) SHARE WITH YOUR FRIENDS Positioned for Blessing God loves you so much. He longs to bless you in every area of your life. Deuteronomy says that He wants to bless you when you come in, and when you go out. He wants to bless you when you’re in the city, and bless you when you’re in the country. He wants to bless and prosper everything you set your hand to. When you are living in peace and unity with the people in your life, you are positioning yourself for God’s blessing. Living in unity doesn’t mean you always have to agree with everyone. It means that you look for common ground in Christ and refuse to allow strife to enter into your relationships. Today, focus on the things that bring you together. Focus on your faith in God and dependence on His Word. Build one another up and watch how God will pour out His favor and blessing! A Prayer for Today “Father, thank You for Your promise of blessing in my life. I choose Your ways today and ask that You help me live in peace and unity with You and others. Show me Your ways so that I can walk with You always. In Jesus’ Name. Amen.”