How to Live and Love

Sarah McDonald

Every woman dreams of romance. She wants a man who can capture her in one glance and pursue her no matter what the obstacle.

Why? Because these men know how to treat women. They know what women want and how to make them swoon. Meanwhile, we leave an even deeper dent in the fading couch as we wonder what happened to our own flames of romance.

The following tips will jumpstart your love life and will help you to fall in love all over again.

TREAT HIM BETTER THAN YOU TREAT YOURSELF

It may be hard at first, but you must realize that love begins with self-sacrifice and giving. Put his needs before your own. Give him the window seat even if you want it.

Watch his television program for a change. Let him choose the restaurant. When he recognizes your sacrifices, he will desire to do the same for you. Giving reciprocates itself. It begets giving.

SEEK UNDERSTANDING BEFORE JUDGMENT

Too many arguments occur because we don't understand each other. We assume that laziness holds him in bed on a Saturday morning when, in fact, he may be thinking through a problem. We assume that he would rather play poker with his buddies on a Tuesday night when, in fact, he is counseling a friend during that time. Judgments based on ignorance lead to unnecessary arguments and a lack of trust on our parts.

MAKE EVERY DAY VALENTINE'S DAY

We've grown up hearing that the little things count, and it's true. Yes, the candlelight dinners and bouquets of flowers (rare as they may be) are an occasional necessity in a relationship; however, if we are not romancing each other throughout the average day, very little accumulated love will be available for those romantic evenings. Put a short love note in his briefcase. Cook his favorite meal. Offer encouraging words at every available moment. Love reciprocates itself. Your gestures will make him desire to do the same for you.

AVOID NAGGING

No matter how badly you may want him to do something, refrain at all costs from nagging. Though subconscious, nagging actually causes him to act oppositely from your goal. It prevents his own self-motivated change. Psychologically, people more greatly desire to do things that they decide to do. With each annoying word, your nagging is taking him one step further from accomplishing the task. Try to simply plant the idea in his mind and give him a few days to make a decision for himself.

LET AN ISSUE OOZE BEFORE IT EXPLODES

You've heard this before. Don't hide your feelings. If you have a problem with his actions, express it in a calm and loving tone. Older couples who bicker and yell do so because of 40 years of withheld feelings that turned to bitterness. Don't let your feelings become so backed up that the only release is an explosion.

SEEK TO UNDERSTAND HIS LANGUAGE OF LOVE

After the thousands of years in which men and women have co-existed on earth, only one explanation has surfaced: Men and women are different. Great theologians and philosophers have tried to explain these differences, but the chasm between male and female falls so deep that any attempt is futile. Our only hope is to understand each other and the ways in which we express ourselves. A long day at work may be his greatest expression of love, while all you want is one hour of uninterrupted time together. Your encouraging words may express your love, while he longs for physical intimacy. For men and women to live happily ever after, we must learn to speak the same language.

No one said that loving is easy, but all could probably agree that it's worth the struggle. Though deeper relationships yield more painful suffering in the daily grind, mankind has never ceased to pursue their highs and lows.

Philosophers say that it is better to have loved and lost than to have never loved at all. But let's go one step further and seek to love and keep. That's the best love of all.