Why women are not always right

by Rose Carmelle Lacuata, ABS-CBNnews.com
Posted at 03/11/2014 12:28 AM | Updated as of 03/11/2014 4:00 PM
MANILA - Some women tend to expect a lot from their husbands and blame them once the marriage fails.
However, there are also some things that women should stop doing to maintain a happy marriage.
In an interview on DZMM's "Sakto," marriage counselor Gilda "Mommy G" Altez explained some of the things wives should stop doing.
One is to stop thinking that they are always right.
"Kung minsan kasi kung napakasal na, ang babae minsan akala niya hawak na niya sa leeg ang lalaki, at palaging siya ang tama," said Altez.
She added that women should also acknowledge that they don't know everything, and that they need their husbands to help them.
"Hindi porke't empowered tayo at nasanay tayo na independent, ay tayo na lang lahat ang gagawa."
She said that it also gives the husband a sense of pride in doing something that his wife cannot or does not know how to do.
Knowing priorities
Altez also advised women to always prioritize their husband. However, they shouldn't treat their husbands as their girlfriends, and expect them to enjoy "girly" activities like shopping, going to salons, and others.
She said that wives should also stop shaming their husbands, especially in public.
"Mas maganda kung may usapan ang mag-asawa, halimbawa may nasabing mali, dapat makuha ka sa tingin para hindi mapahiya."
Women should also stop always correcting their husbands, and if they do, they should make sure that they themselves are free from flaws.
"Dapat maging modelo siya bago siya mag-correct," said Altez.
Wives should also let their husbands do things their own way.
For products of broken homes, Altez advised women not to compare their husbands to their fathers who left them.
"Hindi maganda ang mag-compare. Ine-expect na nila na gagawin ng mga asawa nila yung ginawa nila, kaya lalong na-cocompel ang husband na gumawa ng hindi maganda."
She also advised women to use intimacy in exchange for things that they want to get.
"It is a sacred act, at hindi naman yun laruan lang."
Respect and communication
Respect is a very important component of a relationship, and wives should not make their husbands earn their respect.
"Yung respeto dapat ibinibigay yun kasi na-earn na yun habang nagliligawan pa lang," said Altez.
In terms of trust and forgiveness, Altez said that Filipino women are relatively more enduring than women from other countries.
"Maraming mga babae ang enduring at basta humingi lang ng tunay na kapatawaran (ang asawa), kayang magpatawad," she added.
"Siguro kasi walang divorce kaya mas nagpapatawad, pero meron namang annulment."
However, Altez warned couples not to always resort to annulment to solve a problem.
Married people should also stop acting as if their spouse is a mind reader.
Women, as well as men, should always say what they want instead of expecting their spouse to know everything without talking about it.
Altez stressed the importance of communication in a relationship.
"Dapat ang mag-asawa, once a week, for at least one hour, magkaroon ng one-on-one na pakikipagusap sa asawa, na silang dalawa lang."