Learn How to Be Empathetic

CURRENT TEACHING SERIES Better Together   Learn How to Be Empathetic By Rick Warren — May 31, 2015 “All of you should be of one mind. Sympathize with each other. Love each other as brothers and sisters. Be tenderhearted, and keep a humble attitude.” (1 Peter 3:8 NIV) You’re never going to live in harmony with your wife, your husband, your friends, or anybody else without empathy. You can’t have a team without being aware of what’s happening in each other’s lives. That’s why when people work together in an office, they may do work together, but they’re not a team unless they know what’s going on in each other’s lives. Empathy is so important because it meets two of our deepest needs: the fundamental need to be understood and a deep need to have our feelings validated. If you’re going to build a team of friends or at work or in your small group, you have to build empathy into the structure. So how do you become an empathetic person? Slow down. Because our culture teaches us to move fast, we end up relationally skimming. That means you’re hitting the high points and missing all kinds of details in the lives of people you care about most. James 1:19 says, “Be quick to listen, slow to speak, and slow to get angry” (NLT, second edition). Ask questions. Proverbs 20:5 says, “A person’s thoughts are like water in a deep well, but someone with insight can draw them out” (GNT). Most people hold their emotions pretty close, and they don’t automatically share how they’re doing. “I’m fine” is the standard answer, but that doesn’t really tell you how they feel. If you ask, “””How are you doing?” and the other person says, “I’m fine,” here’s how you draw out a more telling response: Learn to ask the question twice. That’s how you develop empathy. Pause and say, “No. How are you reallydoing?” The other thing you do is learn to linger. That means don’t be afraid of silence. Just be in the moment, ask the question, and don’t be afraid to sit there and wait. Don’t immediately go into your agenda. Just listen and learn. Show emotions. The Bible says in Romans 12:15, “Rejoice with those who rejoice, and weep with those who weep” (NASB). Empathy is more than saying, “I’m sorry you hurt.” It’s saying, “I hurt with you.” You’re willing to cry with them, and you’re willing to rejoice with them. There’s only one way you’re going to be that empathetic — stay filled up with God. If your tank gets low on God, you’re not going to be empathetic at all. You’ve got to stay filled up with God. “All of you should be of one mind. Sympathize with each other. Love each other as brothers and sisters. Be tenderhearted, and keep a humble attitude” (1 Peter 3:8 NIV). PLAY today’s audio teaching from Pastor Rick >> Talk It Over What are the characteristics of a good listener? How do you respond to people when they ask, “How are you?” Why do you think people are so afraid of silence in a relationship? Today’s Scripture “For everything there is a season, a time for every activity under heaven.” (Ecclesiastes 3:1, NLT) SHARE WITH YOUR FRIENDS Embrace Your Season God has ordained seasons and cycles in our lives. Sometimes, when our dreams aren’t coming to pass on our timetable, we can be tempted to get frustrated. We have to be careful not to allow our attitude to keep us from moving forward. In God’s kingdom, every season is not harvest. There are plowing seasons, planting seasons and watering seasons. Sure, we would love for every season to be a time of increase; but without the other seasons, we wouldn’t be prepared. It’s during the plowing seasons that God brings issues to light that we need to deal with. He’s getting us prepared for promotion. If you’re not making as much progress as you would like, the key is not to lose any ground. Don’t go backwards. Hold your position by keeping an attitude of faith and expectancy, even when it’s hard. Keep plowing by speaking the Word daily. Keep pressing through because soon you will come in to your due season! A Prayer for Today “Father, thank You for Your faithfulness in all seasons of my life. I trust that my time is coming, and I choose to remain faithful. I submit my ways to You today and trust that You have the best plan for my life in Jesus’ name. Amen.” PS https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=FvgspvBVEUo&list=RDFvgspvBVEUo